The Secret Sauce

I just finished a 2.5 hour meditation that consisted of a brief practice of repentance and Bodhicitta in the beginning followed by Anapanasati. The session was preceded by 1.5 hours of Kinhin, 0.5 of Bhramari pranayama, 0.5 of Chandali mudra. At the tail end of meditation my attention got hooked on itself with some kind of intuitive concentration movement. At the same time my eyes naturally went to the third eye and as I noticed the thoughts stopped fully I understood I need to retain everything exactly as it is to see if I can sustain that state indefinitely. It worked. I’ve never been able to stay completely without thoughts for so long. It felt like I was able to do it for about 15-20 minutes with about 2 brief incidents where the focus weakened for a split second and thoughts almost formed.

I am not sure if this was just a hack of some sort or I finally figured out how to actually hook the attention on itself. Before I only had glimpses of this experience but I wasn’t able to sustain it. And also I would get trepidatious as soon as I achieve it since it was such a novel experience so that would contribute to losing the focus. This time around it felt like I had enough determination and energy to sustain the “attention lock” in the same unmoving position. 

The New Level

I absolutely loved it! After several minutes of the experience, I started getting used to it. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world and yet it was such a luxury because I haven’t experienced it in such a capacity before. I was able to stay mostly still throughout the session but at the time of the concentration lock my legs and bottom started hurting from being numb so I had to shift around a little bit and luckily that didn’t disturb the focus.

I feel like I unlocked a new ability. Excited to try it out again tomorrow and see how quickly I can get into it to understand what the prerequisites are. I can already see how it can be another skill to build upon in this meditation mastery journey.

The Recipe

I believe this is happening due to the cumulative effect of the correct practice that I have been ramping up. The general effect of this has been increased mindfulness which helps being aware of the both external and internal worlds. So you notice more stuff in general and are able to discern finer details. The practice of mindfulness, or smriti, involves directing attention to the present moment without getting caught up in thoughts or emotions. This practice is about observing the movement of consciousness itself. In this way, attention is directed towards itself, becoming both the observer and the observed. 

The practice of concentration, or samatha, is about focusing the mind on a single object, like the breath or a mantra, to calm the mind. However, as the practice deepens, the object of concentration becomes less important, and the focus turns to the state of concentration itself. The goal is not to be fascinated by the object, but to have calm attention towards the object.As concentration deepens, the mind becomes still and focused, and the experience of concentration becomes the object of awareness. This allows consciousness to be directed towards itself.

So both culminate in attention hooking on itself eventually which means there is indeed valid progress in my practice. Next up I will need to experiment with this state to understand how it relates to vipassana. After the mind is calmed through concentration, the practice of contemplation, or vipassana, involves observing the nature of reality without getting caught up in judgements or opinions. In this practice, attention is directed toward the arising and passing away of mental and physical phenomena, including the process of attention itself. I didn’t notice any specific insights in that state yet, I was mainly concentrating on maintaining it. Perhaps with experience this state will expand and I will be able to observe objects of the internal world impartially as the next meditative task.

Awakening and Enlightenment Goals

This state might be close to or is a precursor to Kensho. As the meditation practice deepens, the goal is to reach a state where the mind stops its usual pattern of thinking, desiring and grasping. This includes the cessation of thoughts about the meditation itself. In this state, attention is not directed at any object, but rests in its own pure awareness. This is the experience of Kensho, or enlightenment, where the usual movement of consciousness ceases. By this definition, my experience seems to match the criteria as the thought process was stopped and attention was just hooked to itself almost without interruptions. Perhaps, I just need to deepen and stabilize it. On second thought, from the descriptions of Kensho experiences by the teacher whose books I am basing my practice on, that experience would be pretty total and unmistakable in its profundity. I don’t think that is what I experienced just yet.

Eventually, in the same direction of the practice, when the mind is truly still, we experience the emptiness or shunyata of all phenomena. This includes the emptiness of the self and of consciousness itself. This is not a void, but a state of pure awareness where attention is completely unhooked from all objects and concepts, including itself.

Per aspera ad astra!